Comforting the Mourner

Dear Friends,

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 (NIV)

This week, The Lord called home a dear Christian lady named Joyce Liegler. Heaven’s gain is our loss. As we met with her husband of 63 years, we asked God to give us words that would comfort and strengthen him in this difficult time.

Which brings us to the question, “How do you offer comfort and support to someone who has lost a loved one?” The above verses from second Corinthians offer what we feel is a good starting point. Reflecting on the times that God has comforted you in times of trouble can bolster your faith and prepare your heart.

In the third chapter of Ecclesiastes, we are reminded that there is a time and season for every activity under the heavens … a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing. In those initial hours, when someone first enters a season of mourning, they may wonder if they ever again will feel like laughing or dancing, or even embracing. Expect tears —theirs and yours. Even Jesus wept for the friends and family of Lazarus.

While we know and believe the words of Romans 8:28, “In all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose;” we also know that that in that initial season of mourning, it’s really difficult to see the good.

“In Proverbs 20:12 we read, “Ears that hear and eyes that see—The Lord has made them both.” God gave us two eyes that can help us see someone’s pain and two ears that allow us to hear their story. Everyone expresses grief differently. For some, just listening to their stories is a good way to offer comfort. For others, sharing stories from our experience can help them begin the healing process.

When it comes to prayer, asking, “Would you like me to pray with you?” is far more comforting and powerful than merely saying, “I will pray for you.” “For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.” Matthew 18:20

Sometimes it helps to remind those who mourn of the reason for our hope. The Scriptures are replete with verses that talk about the hope we have in Christ. Blessed are those that mourn, for they shall be comforted. Matthew 5:4

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16

Jesus told her, “I am the resurrection and the life. Anyone who believes in me will live, even after dying.” John 11:25 (NLT)

 “For we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands.” 2 Corinthians 5:1 (NIV)

“But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ,” Philippians 3:20

“Therefore, holy brothers and sisters, who share in the heavenly calling, fix your thoughts on Jesus, whom we acknowledge as our apostle and high priest.” Hebrews 3:1

“He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” Revelation 21:4

What should Christians do or say when the person who has died did not know the Lord, or when the one who mourns is a non-believer? I attended one memorial service where the pastor offered what could best be described as a “Hell-fire-and damnation” sermon. Many of those in attendance were of differing faiths or had no faith. The reaction to the sermon was not good.

That pastor would argue that as Christians the most loving thing we can do is introduce people to the love of God found in Jesus. I’m not sure how many people walked away from that service feeling the love of God. We prefer the Proverbs 16:24 approach: “Kind words are like honey— sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.” The best thing we can offer to anyone who is mourning is our love — “Love is patient and kind.”
1 Corinthians 13:4.

Blessings,
Your Friends in Christ