Dear Friends,
A friend asked, “Are there any verses in the Bible that deal with forgiving yourself? I know there are scores of verses that speak to our need to forgive others — the Lord’s Prayer, as recorded in the King James Version, for example, includes the words, ‘And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. And I try to be forgiving of others.
“I also cherish the verses that speak about God’s love and his willingness to forgive our sins. But I struggle with forgiving myself — with letting go of shame I feel for sins I have committed. Does God want me to remember every bad thing I’ve done?”
“Could it be?” I asked, “You are confusing forgiving with forgetting?” Forgiving is not about forgetting, it is about remembering with understanding. Are you, today, the same person you were then? If you are in Christ, the answer is you are not the same. Circumstances change, as do people.”
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! 2 Corinthians 5:17 (NIV)
Forgiveness is also about trust. When you read John 3:16 remember YOU are included in the world he came to save. For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life,
Do you really trust that God sent his son into the world to save YOU? If you do … We have an advocate with the Father—Jesus Christ, the Righteous One. He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for the sins of the whole world. 1 John 1b-2
Notice the words “free from all blame” in the verses from 1st Corinthians which follow.
Now you have every spiritual gift you need as you eagerly wait for the return of our Lord Jesus Christ. He will keep you strong to the end so that you will be free from all blame on the day when our Lord Jesus Christ returns. God will do this, for he is faithful to do what he says, and he has invited you into partnership with his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord. 1 Corinthians 1:7-9 (NLT)
God forgives our sins. Still, there are consequences we must live with. The man or woman who steals may have to go to jail. The person who gossips may be ostracized by others who fear the loose tongue. The husband or wife who divorces may have to endure the wrath of the family.
But there is a time for forgiveness. When someone in the Church at Corinth upset the congregation, the Apostle Paul cautioned,
The punishment inflicted on him by the majority is sufficient. Now instead, you ought to forgive and comfort him, so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. 2 Corinthians 2:5-7 (NIV)
The excessive sorrow Paul wrote about could include inability to forgive oneself.
Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. Colossians 3:1
Paul’s words to the Colossians also call for forgiveness. “Forgive [yourself] as the Lord forgave you” is one way to look at this verse.
Sometimes our inability to forgive ourselves is caused by how others respond to our pleas for forgiveness.
I [the author] once attended a prayer service at an evangelical Episcopal church. The sermon was based on James 5:16 — Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. Following the sermon. the rector asked the worshipers to confess a sin to someone nearby. A woman seated next to me listened as I gave the details of a sin that had been burdening me. The shocked look on her face and her swift departure from the sanctuary did not help me with my need for self-forgiveness.
Many years later I was counseled by someone with a compassionate heart who was able to help me look at my sin as the Bible says God looks at it. I confessed, accepted my guilt, and put my trust in the blood of Jesus. I still think of it from time to time, but the memory of my sin no longer causes me the pain it once did.
Unfortunately, those directly impacted by sin sometimes respond by withholding forgiveness as a bargaining chip to get their needs met. Their forgiveness becomes contingent upon your compliance. But Scripture tells us we need not let their opinions intimidate us.
Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Romans 8:1-2
On our own, we may feel what we did was so bad God could never forgive us — we need to remember that God doesn’t grade on the curve … for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. Romans 3:23-24
Although I couldn’t find verses in the Bible that specifically address self-forgiveness, it seems clear from what I’ve found that God doesn’t want us to hold onto painful memories. When we learn to focus more on Christ and less on our faults, shame can be replaced by a strong desire to be able to enter into God’s glorious presence. What a joyful day that will be.
Now all glory to God, who is able to keep you from falling away and will bring you with great joy into his glorious presence without a single fault. Jude 1:24 (NLT)
Blessings
Your Friends in Christ
Because He Loves Us Press 