Dear Friends,
Let me share a personal story. It started this week when Bonnie visited her dentist. After fixing a tooth that had been giving her trouble, the dentist recommended she visit an oral surgeon for an evaluation of two suspicious lesions on her gums. She didn’t think much of it until we decided to consult WebMD on the internet.
We stayed up a good part of that night talking about — worrying about — what a cancer diagnosis might mean. “I am scared, Bonnie said.
“Me too,” I responded. “I know the Bible tells us, Do not be anxious about anything, but sometimes that is easier said than done. We cried together, prayed together, talked about who she would want to remember in her will, until we finally dropped off into an unsettled sleep.
The next morning Bonnie nearly had to push me out of the house. “Don’t worry about me. It will do you good to play golf with your friends.”
When I returned home, Bonnie and I sat beside each other on the couch. I was taken aback when the first thing she said was, “I can wiggle my toes.”
“Really?” I said, “And that is important because?
Bonnie glanced down at her toes and explained, “When you’re dead, you can’t wiggle your toes.”
“What made you think of that?” I asked.
“After you left the house this morning, I was sitting in the chair in the bedroom when, all at once, I noticed I was wiggling my toes. The fact that you can’t wiggle your toes when you are dead made me realize that there are a lot of things you can’t do when you are dead. I like to wiggle my toes, I wondered what other things I like to do that I won’t be able to do…? Is there anything else I should do while I still can?”
We talked about things we enjoy doing together. I tried but couldn’t hold back tears as we spoke of laughing together, sharing our devotionals each morning and ending each day with prayers a kiss. We talked about our families and reminisced about things we might have done better as parents.
“Like others, we have had our share of challenges,” Bonnie said, “but all-in-all this has been a great life. I can’t think of anything I need to do except love the Lord and continue with our ministry as long as I am able.”
She didn’t cite the Scripture, but I know that she is guided by Jesus words “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind … Love your neighbor as yourself.” Matthew 22:37, 38b
As widow and Widower, Bonnie and I realize that it is too easy to get so hung up worrying about dying that you miss out on living. Someday we may not be able to wiggle our toes, but we live with the hope that one day our spirit will soar.
Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him. Psalm 62.5
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13
Bonnie, at one point had the kind of troubling thought that commonly comes to those who face difficulties: “Why would God do this to me?” As we talked about it she explained, “It was a momentary thought, then it seemed like the Holy Spirit swept in and assured me that God would never do that to anyone he loved.”
“Get thee behind me, Satan!” she exclaimed. “I hate the devil and the evil thoughts he puts into our heads.”
Bonnie jokingly says, “Worry works; most things we worry about never happen.” When we visited the oral surgeon, she identified the “suspicious-looking” lesions as normal benign bone growth that could be corrected with minor surgery if it ever starts to cause discomfort.
So, what did we learn from this experience?
1. Unless you have a medical degree, don’t try to self-diagnose using the internet.
2. Even the faithful worry; be gentle with yourself.
3. Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.
4. God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” Believe Him!
Blessings,
Your Friends in Christ
Because He Loves Us Press 