Dear Friends,
Now I appeal to Euodia and Syntyche. Please, because you belong to the Lord, settle your disagreement. And I ask you, my true partner, to help these two women, for they worked hard with me in telling others the Good News. They worked along with Clement and the rest of my co-workers, whose names are written in the Book of Life. Philippians 4:2-3 (NIV)
Imagine that — church members who are in conflict. We don’t know the issues that led Eurodia and Syntyche to be at odds, but we know that the conflict was serious enough for the apostle Paul to address it in his letter to the church of Philippi. In verses four and five, Paul tied joy in the Lord to consideration of others.
Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again—rejoice! Let everyone see that you are considerate in all you do. Remember, the Lord is coming soon. Ibid verses 4-5
Over my seventy-two years, I have attended churches of many denominations: Episcopal, Baptist, Methodist, Foursquare Gospel, Church of God, Catholic, Greek Orthodox, Presbyterian, Lutheran, Community Bible, and mega-churches such as Mariners and Saddleback. One thing is common to all: Conflict, and conflict robs brothers and sisters in Christ of their joy in the Lord.
What causes this conflict? Pride, jealousy, judgement, and fear are common triggers; all of which have to do with how we measure our self-worth. We have egos, and when we let other people define us, or we define others, we Edge God Out.
God sees each of his children as a new creation, as righteous and set apart, as forgiven, and loved. When we start to see ourselves and see others as God sees us, we are able to reclaim the joy that we may have lost.
Verses that tell us how God sees us:
As his children: But to all who believed him and accepted him, he gave the right to become children of God. John 1:12
As a new creation: Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.” 2 Cor. 5:17 (NKJV)
As righteous and holy: Put on your new nature, created to be like God—truly righteous and holy. Ephesians 4:24 (NLT)
As forgiven: I am writing to you, dear children, because your sins have been forgiven on account of his name. 1 John 2:12 (NIV)
As his beloved: For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love. Romans 5:5b (NLT)
What can we do when we find ourselves in conflict with a brother or sister in Christ?
A starting point might be to see how our ego may be involved. If we discover we are prideful, we can reflect on the words in Philippians: Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.
Philippians 1:1-4 (NIV)
Perhaps we are jealous. The antidote to jealousy is thankfulness. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Colossians 3:15 (NIV)
Are we judgmental? Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you. Ephesians 4:32 (NLT)
Fear can also trigger conflict in a relationship. We need to learn to put our trust in the One who can calm our fears and heal our relationships. So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10 (NIV)
Once we confront the part “our” ego may be playing in the conflict, we can take a strong step toward reconciliation by praying for the other person. Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere. Ephesians 6:18 (NIV)
Not sure what to pray? Pray something for the other person that you might desire for yourself. For instance, pray that the Holy Spirit will produce in each of you the fruit of love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. These are, after-all, qualities that will erase the triggers of conflict.
Blessings,
Your Friends in Christ
Because He Loves Us Press 