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Dear Friends,

What would you say is a sin many Christians struggle with? Here’s a clue:

Jesus addressed the problem of judging others in Matthew 7:1-3 (NLT): “’Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?’” I have always appreciated Colossians 3:13: “Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.”

Does that mean we should be silent when we see another taking a wrong path? Are we being judgmental when we offer advice — criticize? What standard should we use to draw a line between judging, criticizing and instructing? The Scriptures suggest it depends on your starting point.

The Message Bible offers clarity: “… It’s quite simple: Do what is fair and just to your neighbor, be compassionate and loyal in your love, and don’t take yourself too seriously — take God seriously. ”Micah 6:8b (MSG)

Take God seriously, not yourself; that is the starting point. The standard should be what is right or wrong in God’s eyes, not what is right or wrong in our “I’s”: I think, I want, I need.

Starting out with God as our perfect guide, we can seek to judge by his standard. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.” Proverbs 3:5-6 (NLT)

But what if it is an offense that you can’t overlook? Jesus tells us, “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.” Matthew 18:15-17 (NIV)

Of course, there is a right and a wrong way to point out fault. The Book of Job offers several examples of how not to confront someone. Job’s friend Eliphaz’s caustic diatribe in Chapter 15 of the Book of Job is a virtual “how-not-to” on offering correction. You know from the opening sentences that Eliphaz missed the part about being compassionate — “A wise man wouldn’t answer with such empty talk! You are nothing but a windbag.”  It went downhill from there.

In his response to Eliphaz, Job gives us a clue as to what righteous criticism might have sounded like: “I could say the same things if you were in my place. I could spout off criticism and shake my head at you. But if it were me, I would encourage you.” Job 16:4-5 (NLT)

Even in criticism our goal should be to encourage the other as we seek unity and peace. “As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.” Ephesians 4:1-3 (NIV)

Live at Peace
It’s in the Book; I know it’s true: to live in peace depends on you.
It took a while for me to see: the “you” involved is really me.
How often have I heard God’s word and misconstrued the things I’ve heard,
Ignored the plank that’s in my eye, and found faults in the other guy?
We’re all God’s kids, I’m sure you’ve heard. I know it’s true – it’s in God’s Word.
So, why is it we choose to act, ignoring that important fact?
A brother comes and needs a break; he asks for bread, he gets a snake.
He makes mistakes; we make him pay. That surely isn’t Jesus way.
If someone wrongs you, don’t keep score. You’ve slipped up too, of that I’m sure.
And God forgave you; now confess! It’s wrong to offer others less.
Lord, help us learn to offer grace. In us, let others see your face.
Inspired by your precious Son, we’ll live at peace with everyone.

Verse of the Week: “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” Romans 12:18 (NIV) Blessings, Your Friends in Christ

Dear Friends,

Have you ever received a hurtful letter — one of those stinging epistles that makes you stay up at night? It may have been sent by a friend or a family member. Maybe a business associate or someone whose political views are different from yours just had to let off steam, and they took it out on you. Regardless of the circumstances, the pain you felt was real, and you struggled with how to respond.

Sometimes these types of correspondence are based on misinformation. The person was told or they perceived that you did or said something you didn’t. On occasion, you may have actually done something that was offensive or damaging, and they had the right to address the issue; but the tone they took was unkind and, to put it bluntly, unChristian.

Today, tweets and emails have replaced snail mail. Instant retaliation is too easy. Our first inclination may be to respond in kind, even though we know it’s better to respond kindly. We need to ignore the devil on our shoulder and tune in to that angel who may be encouraging us to remember the words of the sometimes hot-headed apostle. Peter, “Love each other as brothers and sisters. Be tenderhearted, and keep a humble attitude. Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will grant you his blessing. 1 Peter 8b-9 (NLT)

In Proverbs, we find, “Don’t ever stop being kind and truthful. Let kindness and truth show in all you do. Write them down in your mind as if on a tablet.”
Proverbs 3:3 (ICB)

The Apostle Paul was thinking about things we say and do when he wrote in 2nd Corinthians 3:3 (NIV), ^“You show that you are a letter from Christ that he sent through us. This letter is not written with ink, but with the Spirit of the living God. It is not written on stone tablets. It is written on human hearts.”

Mother Teresa (Saint Teresa of Calcutta) echoed the thought, “I am like a pencil in the hand of a writing God, who is sending a love letter to the world.”

We too are pencils in the hand of a writing God. We show our heart by how we communicate with others via mail, Twitter, Facebook, or face-to-face. What does your heart look like this week?

Verse of the Week

“Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my rock and my Redeemer.” Psalm 19:14 (NASB)

Blessings,
Your Friends in Christ
 

 

Dear Friends,

Last week we shared with you a story of hope. This week we look at those times when hope dims – those times when you feel your emotional tank is nearing empty.

After all, life has a way of draining our tank. In John 16:33 (NIV), Jesus said, “’In this world you will have trouble.’” Isn’t that the truth?

Our finances may seem to be in fine shape … until the overdraft notice from the bank arrives. We are certain we deposited that check … until we find it tucked in the visor of the car. You’re happy your son or daughter has found new friends … until you find out they have habits you disapprove of. You feel fit to run a marathon … until you get that call from the doctor.

When your tank hits empty, it’s time to apply the 3-R’s: Rally, Reflect, and Rest.

First, rally the troops. Recently I was blindsided by a cancer diagnosis. Being one who normally keeps health issues to myself, I wasn’t quite sure how to react when Bonnie told a few of our Christian friends about my diagnosis.

But when I returned from surgery, I discovered what it means to be in the family of God. A bouquet of flowers was at the door, two sets of neighbors brought food to get us through a tough couple of days, and another Christian brother who had been through similar surgery called to offer prayer and to answer questions about what may lie ahead. Best of all were the countless prayers from friends and family. When the troops you rally are your brothers and sisters in Christ, you are on the road to victory.

“We ought always to thank God for you, brothers and sisters, and rightly so, because your faith is growing more and more, and the love all of you have for one another is increasing.” 2 Thessalonians 1:3

“Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of a friend springs from their heartfelt advice.” Proverbs 27:9 (NIV)

I am compelled to add that one of the people who became a powerful helper and advisor is a woman who is self-avowed atheist. She’d scoff at the thought, but based on her heart, I’d say that the Holy Spirit isn’t finished working on her yet. Our hope and prayer is that she will come to know the Lord.

The next step when your tank is empty is to reflect on the goodness of God. A while back I wrote a blog about turning worries over to God. That blog had been inspired by my concerns about the test that ultimately led to my cancer diagnosis. I saw God’s goodness in the peace that he gave me as I waited for the test results, then learned of the diagnosis, and eventually underwent surgery. Sometimes just peace of mind is a miracle.

I will be glad and rejoice in your unfailing love, for you have seen my troubles, and you care about the anguish of my soul. Psalm 31:7 (NLT)

The final step is to rest. — “In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, Lord, make me dwell in safety.” Psalm 4:8

“The Lord is good to those who depend on him, to those who search for him. So it is good to wait quietly for salvation from the Lord.” Lamentations 3:25-26

I like the expression, “You can’t; God can, so let Him.”

Isaiah put it this way, “But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.” Isaiah 40:31

If you feel your emotional tank is nearing empty, it’s time to go to the Lord for a fill-up. There’s no telling what miracles He has in store for you.

Verse for the week: “Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us,” Ephesians 3:20

Blessings,
Your Friends in Christ

Dear Friends,
Two-thousand seventeen has been declared to be the Year of Hope. With this in mind,  we wanted to share with you the story of Hope.|

We first met Dewi during the summer of 2015, when she joined our Assisted Living Ministry Team at Park Terrace in Rancho Santa Margarita. Dewi had been a caregiver at this community, so she knew most of the residents. She approached them with such a loving heart that we couldn’t help falling in love with her. Since her parents lived far away, my wife Bonnie soon filled in as her U.S. mom.

Dewi had been born and raised Muslim in a small town in Indonesia. During high school, she was introduced to Christianity and committed her life to Christ.

She met and fell in love with her husband Kris in the small town of Cirebon, Indonesia. When they married in 2005, there was a period of three years when they saw each other only a couple of times, as Dewi went through the arduous immigration process in preparation for a move to the United States, During one of these visits, Dewi asked Kris, who had been raised Catholic, to join her at a local church service. Dewi was pleasantly surprised when Kris responded to the alter call and stepped forward to accept Jesus as his Lord and Savior.

After Dewi and Kris settled in California in 2008, they agreed that they should concentrate on their education and careers. Fast forward to 2014: Dewi had started praying that God would bless her with a child.

Moving into 2015, with natural processes not bringing a baby, Dewi and Bonnie would spend time together after the chapel service at Park Terrace praying that God would allow Dewi to have her baby.

Sadly, when Dewi and Kris sought help from a fertility clinic, they learned that there were medical conditions that diminished the probability that they would ever be able to have children. They went through a bunch of testing and followed recommended procedures, but still no pregnancy.

About this time Dewi began to question whether God was even hearing her prayers. She surrendered to the possibility that it wasn’t God’s will that she have a child and changed her prayer to “Lord, help me to accept your decision.”

The next option would have been to take pills, but before going that route, Dewi and Kris decided to take a vacation to Indonesia. On vacation they did everything that she wouldn’t be able to do if she were to become pregnant. From mountain biking to water sports, they did it all.

When they returned from vacation they once again visited with their fertility specialist.
He advised them that no further treatment would be necessary. She was already pregnant!

You can’t imagine the joy we felt when we learned Dewi was going to have a baby — a baby girl that she and Kris had already decided to name “HOPE.”

About a month later, Bonnie and I were touring in Alberta, Canada when Dewi called. We could hear the pain in her voice as she explained that her doctor had ordered genetic testing and the tests showed that there was a high probability her baby had Turner syndrome, a chromosomal condition that affects the development of females.

“Why has God let this happen?” She asked softly.

We tried to console her, but found it difficult to speak through our own tears. We prayed with her over the phone and promised to support her no matter what the outcome.

What followed was a series of chance occurrences — what Christian author Squire Rushnell would categorize as “God Winks” — that gave us hope that everything was going to be alright.

#1: After speaking with Dewi, the next stop on our tour was a gondola ride at Sulfur Mountain in Alberta. As we stood in line waiting for the ride to the top, Bonnie noticed a young man wearing a bright yellow wristband. “Do you see what that says?” She asked. She actually tried to buy the band from the young man, but the best she could do was get a photo … Hope!

#2: On the ride down the mountain we sat behind two young men. “Do you see his tattoo?” Bonnie asked excitedly. “For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:13

#3: But it was the third “God Wink” that sealed the deal for us. Lake Louise is one of the most beautiful places on Earth. That evening, as Bonnie and I walked along the path toward the boathouse, we were wondering out loud how anyone could see something this beautiful and doubt the existence of God.

A couple that had been walking in front of us turned toward us and the woman said, “I feel the presence of God in your life. Are you Christians?”

We talked for several minutes about our home churches — ours at Saddleback, theirs at a small church in Australia. Suddenly Bonnie asked the woman, “Would you be willing to pray for our friend Dewi. She really needs prayer.” I should mention that Bonnie isn’t in the habit of stopping in the middle of a path, grabbing the hands of a couple of strangers, and asking them to pray, but she does believe “The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.” James 5:16

I am not skilled enough as a writer to describe the power that we felt as this Australian woman prayed. Hers wasn’t a cautious appeal; it was a bold conversation with a God she knows intimately. She praised him for who he is. She thanked him for all he has done, then she thanked him for the miracle he would do for Hope. The last words of her prayer were, “That baby will be healed. Amen.”

When I returned to our hotel room I sent an email to Dewi that read in part, “Our hearts are heavy but hopeful. After we spoke to you today, we had a series of experiences that confirmed that God is in charge, and He is aware of your pain. “We put our hope in the Lord. He is our help and our shield.” Psalm 33:20  We can’t know what God has in mind when we face trials, but we know he loves you and wants to comfort you. We love you, Bonnie and Don”

Three weeks after we returned from our vacation Dewi called to tell us that a follow-up test revealed that the baby was perfectly healthy. We leave it to you to decide if the first test was a false positive, or if God had once again responded to prayer.

The next call from Dewi came January 2^nd at 10:30 P.M. This time sobs of pain were mixed with an unmistakable tone of joy. “I’m in labor … and it hurts.”

We drove to the hospital and stayed with Dewi and Kris until a nurse advised us that it would be morning before Dewi would be ready to deliver. We decided to go home to get some rest. A few hours later we were awakened by the text tone on my phone. The nurse that had told us it would be OK to go home obviously didn’t know God’s timing.


For Dewi, Kris, Hope, and the many who love them, this truly is a Year of Hope …
Hope Kirsten Sunarto was born January 3, 2017.

And the story of the miracle of Hope has just begun. She will do all things through Christ who strengthens her.

I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again— my Savior and my God!”
Psalm 42:11b

“Let the people give glory and honor to Him who is worthy of praise and made this happen.” — Dewi.

Blessings,
Your friends in Christ, a.k.a. Hope’s stand-in Granny and Pop Pop

Dear Friends,

Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and never brought to mind?
Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and old lang syne?

Should we just forget about the past, or should we hold onto memories of past relationships?” The answer depends on just how memories of those relationships affect you. Often, people miss opportunities for joy in their lives because they are preoccupied shadowboxing with their past. They carry grudges and grievances for things that happened a long time ago, and memories can become terrible slave masters if we let them. This year you can pave the way to a more joy-filled future by resolving to release past hurts.

Ask God to help you move past the hurt.
You may be familiar with the story of Joseph and his coat of many colors.
Sold into slavery by his brothers, Joseph could have let the pain of his abuse color his feeling about his brothers. Instead, he chose to move past the hurt and show them grace.

“His brothers then came and threw themselves down before him. “We are
your slaves,” they said. But Joseph said to them, “Don’t be afraid. Am I in the
place of God? You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good …”
Genesis 50:18-20 (NIV)

Give God time to work on you.
“Wait patiently for the Lord. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the Lord.”
Psalm 27:14

Seek God’s answers from the best self-help book ever written — the Bible.
“For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged
sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow;
it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.” Hebrews 4:12 (NIV)

Choose love over resentment or retaliation.
“’ So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as
I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another
will prove to the world that you are my disciples.’” John 13:34-35 (NLT)

Be willing to take the first step.
 ^“But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge
against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too.”
Mark 11:25 (NLT)

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in
Christ God forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32 (NIV)

Choose to look at things from different perspective.
Try to put yourself in the position of a neutral observer in an attempt to
answer the question, “Am I seeing the whole picture?”

“Get the truth and never sell it; also get wisdom, discipline, and good
judgment.” Proverbs 23:23 (NLV)

“A man’s pride and sense of self-importance will bring him down,
but he who has a humble spirit will obtain honor.” Proverbs 29:23 (AMP)

 Find a reason to laugh.
In the poem Solitude, Ella Wheeler Wilcox reminds us, “Laugh, and the world
laughs with you; weep, and you weep alone; For the sad old earth must
borrow its mirth, but has trouble enough of its own.”

Ecclesiastes 3:4 tells us that there is, “a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance.” 

 Be willing to change.
“When we are cursed, we bless; when we are persecuted, we endure it; when we are slandered, we answer kindly.” 1 Corinthians 4:12b, 13a (NIV)

“And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on
what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable.
Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.”
Philippians 4:8 (NLT)

You don’t have to justify your hurt or pain. God knows. Billy Graham once said, “Puppy love isn’t real, but it is to the puppy.” Emotional scars heal slowly, but we serve a God who will help us deal with all kinds of pain.

Going into the New Year, I offer you this prayer, “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13 (NIV)

Blessings,
Your Friend in Christ