True confession: I do not like everyone, and I am certain that there are people who do not like me. This can be problematic when I try to reconcile my feelings with Jesus’ words: “I am giving you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, so you too are to love one another.” John 13:34 (AMP)
It is easy to love those who love us. “If you love those who love you, (Jesus said) what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. Luke 6:32 (NIV)
But what about loving someone you do not like? A footnote in the Amplified Bible may help us answer the question:
“The key to understanding this and other statements about love is to know that this love (the Greek word agape) is not so much a matter of emotion as it is of doing things for the benefit of another person, that is, having an unselfish concern for another and a willingness to seek the best for another.”
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
On an emotional level, we may not be able to love someone we dislike; but guided by the Holy Spirit, we can feel and manifest generous concern for another–whether we like them or not. You may, for example, have a coworker who irritates you. He may park in your space, leave the breakroom a mess, or talk way-too-much about politics. But if you take heart the words of the Lord, you will be the first to step forward when that coworker needs help.
At times, anyone may find themselves feeling not only unliked but unloved. What are they supposed to do with that? Whether they are the unloving or the one who feels unloved, each can be guided by Colossians 3:13: Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
Forgiving means letting go and letting God take over. And that includes not only forgiving another but forgiving yourself. As Bonnie recently reminded me, “Kneel at the cross; don’t get up on it.”
When you encounter someone that has slipped below neutral on your likeability scale, or you feel you have fallen on their lovability scale, you might want to have the following conversation with yourself before speaking with them:
Do I like them? That’s debatable.
Can I love them? That is a challenge, but I can through God’s grace.
Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. Hebrews 4:16
Be kind, everyone is fighting a hard battle—Plato
Blessings,
Don & Bonnie Sennott
Ps: If you read this far, we like you very much.
Image courtesy of Hindawi.com
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