The story is told about a kindergartener, who changed schools in the middle of the school year. He was having difficulty making friends, so he came up with the idea of giving Valentine’s Day cards to the kids in his class. His mother helped him prepare thirty-two hand-made cards, one for each child and a special one for his teacher. The day came, and he went off to school carrying a bag full of cards.
His mother was working in the kitchen when he returned home empty-handed. Fearing the worst, she asked him what had happened at school. He shook his head. “Not a one!” he said. “Not a single one.”
His mother was astonished when he suddenly broke into a broad smile. “I didn’t forget anyone, he said proudly. “Not a one!” He did not even give a thought to the fact that no one had remembered to bring a card for the “new kid” in class. The important thing to him was he had been able to show his love to everyone.
“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” John 13:34-35 (NIV)
That is a humbling standard. It’s almost as difficult for me to get my mind around as Matthew 5:48, where Jesus ends his discourse on loving neighbors with the words, “Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.”
In the case of the kindergartener with his valentines, we have a glimpse of what perfect love might look like. His response to unrequited love was pure joy. He did what he did, expecting nothing in return. Sure, he hoped the cards would help him make friends, but he decided the best way to find a friend was to be one.
Easy for a five-year-old but not so easy for adults. Sometimes the risk of putting oneself out there doesn’t seem worth the pain. Maybe, you have been the type of friend Proverbs 18:24 describes as a friend who sticks closer than a brother. But you’ve been disappointed by, or even betrayed by your friend. You have been there through their ups and downs, only to have them walk away when you needed a shoulder to cry on. Unrequited love like that can trigger disappointment that can turn to bitterness that can lead to anger.
Are you angry because someone failed to respond the way you felt they should? It may help you move past your anger to remember love isn’t a quid pro quo virtue. There isn’t always a return on the investment when you are giving yourself. Sure, it’s human nature to feel disappointment when someone fails to reciprocate or respond appropriately to your kindness — it is Christ-like to forgive them.
God so loved the world…we can requite his love by loving him and by sharing his love with others. Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 1John 4:7-8
Because He Loves Us Press 