Is Civility Disappearing … ?

Civility seems to be disappearing in America.

Recently I found myself behind two ladies in the checkout line at a Walmart. The checker was scanning their large collection of purchases when one of the women stopped her to question the price of an item. The checker pulled out a pocket calculator and verified the price. She started to ring up the next item when the woman once again insisted that the clerk verify the price. Glancing at the melting carton of ice cream in my cart, I became extremely impatient and was prepared to say something snarky. Instead, I turned in disgust and found another line.

There was a time when people were kinder and more considerate of others. There was a time, we are told, when people could disagree without being disagreeable, when opinions could be discussed without the tone becoming disgusting, and when ideas could be debated on their merits, rather than on their conformity to a particular ideology.

Some might attribute the increase in incivility to politics; others might blame the press, while cultural, ethnic, racial or religious differences would be cited by others. The Apostle Paul would lay the blame on EGO.

Paul wrote, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.  For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you.” Romans 12:2-3 (NIV)

Incivility is, for the most part, a by-product of ego, which manifests itself in judgmentalism, selfishness, and impatience. When I think back to the incident at Walmart, I am forced to question whether I would have been as judgmental, impatient, and yes, selfish had the ladies in line been people I knew from church or my neighborhood – probably not.

Not to let myself off the hook, but to put the Walmart episode into perspective, the price checking wasn’t the only thing that triggered my ire. While lady #1 was having the clerk check prices, lady #2 was taking her cart and gathering additional items based on how the price check came out. Not exactly civil behavior.

Nevertheless, I am forced to wonder how often am “I” am less than civil? How often do I edge God out by thinking of myself first? When will I finally internalize the truth that I am a child of a loving God, a God who – as we read in Romans 2:11 does not show favoritism? When will I make it my lifestyle to do unto others as I would have them do unto me?

We can’t change the pattern of the world, but we can change the pattern of our lives. As Martin Luther King, Jr. said, “The time is always right to do the right thing.”

“For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people. It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age,” Titus 2:11-12 (NIV)

Verse for the Week: Romans 12:18 (AMP) “ If possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”

Blessings, Your Friends in Christ